Rysinmans climb after WAW! #2

[25yearsmlc]

So it has been a while since posting here on this forum i figured i would update everyone on everything thus far!

This coming Thursday i will officially be moved out of our house and into my own apartment. I have had very little contact with W since the trying to kiss me incident. --- But the boss found out she was brining OM to work during the affair and i was still deployed.

So i guess things have gone sour for her since leaving me for him. --- Crazy i would have to say, considering just two months ago she told me that her life and happiness was going to be here in Hawaii and she was never going to leave the island and that i was on my own.

It is amazing how things change, my GAL is in full swing, im living my life for me and my happiness and now she is the one that is no longer happy. To be honest i have begun to really think if reconciliation is what i really want for the future. Does everyone go through this type of thinking once they have completely detached for the situation and relationship?

Not everyone gets the chance. But if they do, imo, most LBSers become the WAS at some point. No, not for forever.

But unless the original WAS convinces the LBS that there won't be a replay, it's hard to go backwards.

My h was surprised at my reluctance to join him (anywhere, actually). He did say a lot of things I needed to hear and he did have total transparency (his idea too).

In hindsight I probably should have explored more of what he had learned b/c there have been issues springing up, now years later, that would better have been addressed at the time.

But I digress. The short answer to your question is that for the people who detach AND for whom the WAS shows renewed interest, most of us do question things

b/c even if there were legit issues inside the marriage before, (and there usually are, even if they are not "evenly split") any rational person would hesitate before risking another broken heart.

It's totally reasonable to ascertain WHY the former WAS wants back in the marriage, and if the reason is that you are the second choice but the first choice didn't work out,

my advice would be to hesitate a lot more. It's possible that you can become, in her eyes, the first choice. But until you do, why risk it?

But make sure you are not being punitive either. Sometimes that's a fine line to walk b/c you want to give her another chance --- IF it feels "safe" enough,

and yet you also realize that none of us get guarantees anyway, AND you have to find the line between healthy self respect and false pride.

it's not always a clear line.

And if there are children to consider, well, then, the children have to be considered.


I decided to buy myself a new truck this past weekend, gave me a little anxiety signing the papers but i decided that i deserved to spoil myself and make myself happy for a change. And i have to say it felt great driving that truck off the lot. And i couldn’t be happier about it.

Things are definitely looking up for me and my future thanks to everyone who has ever given me advice!

In case you don't know it, THIS ^^ is a successful DB story. It's NOT always about reconciling but it is always about becoming the best you, that you can become.

You sure sound like a man only a fool would leave.

((( )))