I know there are no guarantees but.....

[Mozza]

I hope you realize you're lucky to get such great advice from several vets.

A technical suggestion: Change your username. Lost14 is generic and we already have a Lost18. Choose something more unique to you, prounouncable. Maybe Crossfit? This way you'll stand out more, people will remember your sitch more easily and you'll get better advice.

You might want to read my sitch because my WW also left me and lives with an OM. I'm not a success story in the sense of a reconciliation (yet) but I've progressed a lot in the last few months and I can say that I'm feeling better and heading towards happiness. By the way, my MIL detested me so much (by birth) that she ignored her only child (my W) for two years, including the time of our first pregnancy and birth. She did not poison our R like your FIL did though.

Cadet gave you great advice about your changes. Focus on making them, not on how or when she will see them. With your SS16 anyway, there will ways be a channel. Keep in mind that success stories take some 1-2 years. Don't expect anything just now, work on yourself.