She also has been trying to do more things for herself, where normally I would have just done it (would you like me to get you some water, no I will get it myself type of stuff).
Or the Oh, you didn’t have to do that for me, when I did…, “ I would have done it myself” statements. She even rejected the offer for me to give her massage for her sore legs yesterday (which even during the darkest times, she did not ever reject).
So my gut tells me this is bad, but my newly found logic is telling me this is GREAT! First, I am not pushing to convince her that it is a good idea for me to do these things (in the past…”oh, it’s alright…I don’t mind doing X at all for you”). Something I need to keep up that momentum on letting her do things for herself, and not pushing. It also shows that she is taking responsibility more around the house, right?
Why is my gut telling me otherwise. Is this because she wants to be able to not have to feel like I am trying to buy her affection with acts of service [sigh, this was certainly one of my darker habits… I know that now] or that she wants to be more independent so she can leave?
Good you're not pushing to do things for her. Keep that up.
As far as your gut... you're uncomfortable because it's a different way of doing things and looking at the world. You're overcoming a habit.
You might also look at "No More Mister Nice Guy". Some of the items in your post imply you might have these bad habits too... something to consider.
Me: 45 W43 S7, Foster S9 (Planning to adopt post divorce) D mentioned Feb 2015, Wife served 3/24/2015. She moved out 4/15/2015.
