Feeling so hopeless

[mahhhty]

Lucy,
You do seem very centered in all of this, and I think you are taking the right steps to turn around your life. I urge you to keep doing what you are doing.

In one of your first posts you said.....

"He was extremely extremely angry, and the anger just didn't make sense to me. I wasn't a perfect wife, but hadn't done anything that bad to warrant that much anger. I did all the things initially that the book says not to do........crying, begging, pleading....etc etc etc. As the book says, nothing worked. So I switched my mind completely into a more positive, upbeat frame of mind. That didn't work to bring him home, but it did get him to mellow a bit, and at least take divorce off of the table for now."

I love how you understood that your actions/reactions enabled the person he has become. We all have a hand in how our spouse reacts. Furthermore, changing your attitude perspective to get a different result is wonderful. Continue to change those things and monitor the results.