Devotion To A Dream 3

[phunguy]

It's really hard some days. Today is a hard one. Some days I can rally a positive attitude and be strong see good and be the 180 machine I am! Others like today I'm self loathing and not happy.

I've not been able to exercise lately cause I hurt my knee, tire blew out on my mtn bike I crashed pretty good and am going for X-ray tomorrow. Hopefully it's not broke or really hurt.

I go back and forth in this grief, I want to and have forgiven her to some degree just for my own sanity it was eating me alive. I want to R but she doesn't. So here I am looking at D and some days it's what I want and others I just want to not believe it. It seems silly when I think about it but the mind is powerful in protecting the self from pain.

I'll go read that thread Zues.

Thanks guys sometimes just writing this stuff out is all I need to deal with my over analytic brain.