Thank you so much Cadet and Betsey for taking the time to answer my post.
Cadet, I agree with you that I can control only me. And Betsey, I agree with you that if I continue to pressure W, I will lose the war. Initially, I didn't think that I was pressuring her, but merely asking her to honor the agreement that we both signed. Even though it was written in words, in hindsight I can very clearly see that her idea of what a healing separation meant (via her soul searching as you suggest Betsey) was/is different than mine. And I can see why my asking her to honor the agreement felt like pressure to her.
Yes I have read Divorce remedy. I discovered the book and this board about three months ago. I read the entire book cover to cover and have referenced it a time or two as prompted by questions and comments made on this very board. I had lurked here for quite some time reading about other people's experiences before gathering the resolve to write my own post just the other day.
So yes, from what I have learned, I have backed way off and contact W only for matters regarding our kids or some practical matter about our house, et al. This is a complete 180 from just a few months ago. Also I have done much work on myself on a emotional and spiritual level so that I can better understand my drivers. And yes, I've put focus and effort on GAL, spending time with friends and family doing things that please me and make me happy
I guess I feel like I wasted months trying to follow my understanding of the "healing sep." Had I know about MWD in September '14, I never would have gone down that road to begin with. It is frustrating but at least I feel like I have started anew here.
Thank you both for your wise counsel. I will continue to think on it and let it soak into my heart and soul.
Please also continue to hit me with whatever I'm not "getting" as I know I need good guidance.
I so much appreciate this wise and kind group of people, Diesel
