Indeed, if you do too much of this "no response", you might be enabling her to avoid actual costs that she'll probably face later on anyhow. Make sense?
Could you elaborate on this a bit? What sorts of actual costs are you describing here?
So you can GAL and Detach and move forward while treating her the way you wish you had before (without pursuing and yes that is possible)
^^THIS is something I am working on doing. I think my ego is public enemy number one here. Not sure yet how to keep THAT guy in check!
and without mixing it up with the painful ugly parts of this. Let the lawyers do their jobs. Refer her to your lawyer if she begins to seek more than you believe is reasonable and or if she gets upset.
Makes me see the value in spending money there rather than spending mental energy on all the stuff THEY could be talking about instead.
Referring her to your lawyer (or having hers call yours, etc) will also reduce the chance of a blow out with her.
When my h realized that a divorce would cost what it would cost, he got angry and he seemed to think that telling me he was "going to see a lawyer" would upset me.
It was just the opposite. I wanted him to hear a lawyer tell him some reality. (I told him to "Please see a lawyer asap so you don't have to take my word for it")
For me, seeing a lawyer was incredibly calming as I confirmed my hopes, not my fears, about how I would not be "on the streets with the kids"...
DO see a lawyer as soon as possible. You need not "do" anything but pay a lawyer for some time, but do get information. Truly knowledge is power.
Thank you for this advice. Along with other advice I have gotten recently, I understand now why I need to lawyer up.
How is your GAL? I don't think you can detach without GAL and truly it makes you obsess less and you will become a happier person
and that is attracting, as is a man with interests and hobbies and passions, it helps you bring a lot to the table.
^^ Working on this! Keep posting and keep on keeping on!
Me 39 waw(ww) 26 M 5 years ILYBINILWY No children, miscarriage 3/14 EA 11/2015, confirmed 4/2015, pa? Separated 2/2015 She files D 4/15/15 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
