WAS asked for divorce today.

[aNewGuy]

It is so hard to treat her the way I should have been before, when she has filed for divorce! I am just not being very available to her right now. Not that she is really reaching out to me...

She had left a purse here. An old one with a broken clasp. It has been sitting on my dresser for some time. That along with other random odds and ends - some earrings, some makeup and some other things that a lady would enjoy but for some reason she left behind.

So today I filled the purse with a bunch of these items and strutted in to work with this very obviously women's purse over my shoulder like I owned it, walked up to her and handed it over. She thanked me very much for it and told me to text her to remind her to put some of my clothes (which she inadvertently took when she moved) into her car to bring to me tomorrow.

I haven't written her that text yet. I'm not ready to be texting back and forth with her when I am still reeling over all of this and trying to get my own life in order. She moved out and had me served with divorce papers at work and since this has left me feeling sad and pretty desperate and needy compared to my normal self, I really don't feel safe in engaging her in much conversation unless it is something that just happens naturally in passing or it is something which must be discussed.

Obviously I could change my thoughts on that, but I really want to be focused on taking care of me right now and it is tough - I don't want to hire a lawyer but feel your advice is right and will be doing so by this time next week.

So far as GAL activities are concerned:

1. I have gotten a "gym membership". Why the quotes? Because it's not really a gym membership. Gym membership is what I am calling my second job, which is working part time in a local big box home improvement store. I had applied at this place last December for a supervisory role. I had interviewed well for the job but in the end an internal candidate got the job. So when the hiring manager saw me in the aisles the week after my separation he asked me if I would be interested in part time work in their garden center. I told him yes - not because I need the money, but because I need the new scenery. It has been a good decision - I get to work independently, have already received a $250 bonus along with an award for some of my work there, and am getting a far better workout on most days than I would ever get in a gym because motivation does not exist for me personally in a gym.

2. I am taking care of my yard better these days.

3. Because I am taking better care of my house, I am able to entertain friends over here more often. I host bonfires in the backyard by night, and by day I have my buddies over for target practice.

4. There is still something missing. I guess I don't fit in to any easy category. It feels like GAL for me is plagued with too many options so none of the options ever get my time during the more routine times in life. I enjoy singing and climbing and photography and shooting and swimming and watching Netflix and airplane rides and hiking and yard work (some of it!) and entertaining and cooking and fixing things. I swear I either enjoy or have enjoyed all of these things in the last year, but on a day to day basis none of them seem to rise to the top to be that one reliable part of a good healthy GAL routine for me.

I want to renew my request for prayers for myself, my wife and my marriage. I would say that we have indeed made some progress in that we are having more positive interactions these days than we are negative ones, but there are still relatively few interactions.

I also want to add that it looks and feels to me like God is at work here. I had to report to jury duty here this morning. An old flame was there too. The chances of that occurring are pretty poor in this county. During the lunch break, we were both able to settle a couple of things that had been left hanging when we split up years ago. It also made me love and miss my wife that much more! Prayers needed. I have a lot more to learn and a lot more growing to do. Nowhere near out of the woods here, my bride is still not home!