Yes. D is about the worst thing in the universe. I am sorry you this was slated for you. Truly, truly sorry.
I just posted on Pyrite's thread. Can you read that? It says some of what I want to tell you.
Even after D is final there will still be a lot of denial, a lot of thoughts about "this is so bad surely we have to stop this charade", and a long, long road of feeling that way. Again...I am sorry.
Now that we've acknowledged that and let you sit with it...can you tell us what you're going to do over the next 30 days for YOU?
Please hang in and keep posting. You're not done on DB yet.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15