Joe- I don't remember, but have you been working with a GOOD lawyer?
Listen- the D can overshadow your parenting at times in your emotions, because you haven't lost your children, and you have lost your W...but if you don't take swift, immediate, aggressive, bold, decisive, and assertive action you will regret it forever.
I'm not sure if you can stop her from leaving the state with your kids, but I'd have to be assured by 3 top paternal lawyers that there was nothing you could do to stop that in its tracks before I'd even consider accepting that reality. Even if I had to wage a court war, fight for full custody, and work a ton of hours to cover it all, move in with family, whatever...I just can't see allowing that to happen.
So- what are your rights? Are you ready to do battle for your children if needed?
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Of course I'm ready to do battle for my kids. I have not spoken to a lawyer yet. There was no need to until now. I can't afford one. I pay all the bills here. I've been screwed by several lawyers in the past. They never seem to do any good except take your money.
Kinda tough to hire a lawyer with no money. Even if I was to hire one and get joint custody, I know how she works. She will do everything to try to get the kids to want to live with her. Saw her starting that kind of stuff tonight. After not worrying about anyone other than herself for the past several months, now tonight she was all about the kids. She did the dishes and gave son a bath. And had D in her room buying her things. She has all these plans to take them to all these fun places this summer. She has some girl she works with sending my D presents. My D doesn't even know this lady. My W has issues.
It is a major pain in the mass having joint custody in different states.
Her original plan was to go back and forth helping her mom. I asked her, " so you are going to rent a place down there and stay here when you come back up here and I am just supposed to go along with this like I don't matter? Yeah right!"
Last edited by Joe46; 04/29/1504:43 AM.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I replied to my W's email. I told her that I may not have communicated things very well with the kids things that they were involved in. I told her we never see her anymore and I have felt abandoned and like she wants nothing to do with us. I told her I am doing things that I want to do with my life. I would love for her to join us, but that is up to her. She emailed me back.
Apparently my W has felt abandoned by me all these years we have been together. So before I was controlling and selfish. Now I abandoned her. I wished she would have said something. I had no idea. We did everything together. Talked by email all day while I was at work. I hugged her when I came home. We talked at dinner. Watched out shows together. Spent countless hours at kids school events. Went shopping together. Worked around the house together. I took care of the housework and kids when she was layed up with kidney pain. Took her to the hospital countless times. Rubbed her back when she hurt. All the little gifts I got her just to say ILY. This is coming from a woman that used to brag to her friends how much I helped and took care of her when she was sick. I am starting to think I just need to be a jerk, than women stick around.
I am also starting to wonder if my W has lost respect for me because of my depression. Which is WAY better since I am taking medication. I have always been on top of it. It sure came in handy when her kids were dealing with it. I could relate to them and be there for them. Now who knows!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
This is coming from a woman that used to brag to her friends how much I helped and took care of her when she was sick.
Joe,
OMG! My W used to "brag" about me, too, in the exact same way your W did. (My W has MS and related health issues.) When I read that particular sentence I thought, "Did I write that?"
So, I get it. I know it really hurts Joe. But, when things fall apart, the unhappy spouse starts dwelling on your flaws more than your good points. It isn't right or fair, but that is their reality and how they perceive us now.
Somehow, I have a feeling you're going to get thru this.
Hang in there and don't pressure her.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I have not spoken to a lawyer yet. There was no need to until now. I can't afford one. I pay all the bills here. I've been screwed by several lawyers in the past. They never seem to do any good except take your money.
Kinda tough to hire a lawyer with no money. Even if I was to hire one and get joint custody, I know how she works. She will do everything to try to get the kids to want to live with her. Saw her starting that kind of stuff tonight. After not worrying about anyone other than herself for the past several months, now tonight she was all about the kids. She did the dishes and gave son a bath. And had D in her room buying her things. She has all these plans to take them to all these fun places this summer. She has some girl she works with sending my D presents. My D doesn't even know this lady. My W has issues.
It is a major pain in the mass having joint custody in different states.
So fighting for your kids is making excuses about how you don't have money and you can't stop your crazy W?
Get a L TODAY. Find out if you can legally prevent your W from taking your children and moving out of state. Execute flawlessly.
These are your kids. They need you but aren't competent enough to know how to get what they need. You darn sure better be.
Excuses about money...if your son needed an emergency medical surgery that cost 3K would you come up with the money? This is about the same priority level.
It's shocking to me that guys would loligag around. Plus, you'll be paying her alimony and/or child support for many years. We're talking tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars on TOP of the right to raise your children.
I don't know if you're hoping she changes her mind or what. I'm mind blown. Not the time to let emotions and finances cloud your action. This is an emergency IMHO.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
I'm with Zues and V. Are you doing okay? Please add a quick post if you can.
Thanks!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
