Ripken - LRT with a WW and divorce filed #2

[Ripken8]

Man, my anxiety is getting to me obviously. I was having a great morning and for the first time since the bomb drop and maybe even before that, I felt good about myself and ok with my situation. Then I meet with my attorney and everything becomes real.

I haven't pursued, have kept low and stayed with the lrt. In fact, we've been in the same room a total of 5 minutes all day and won't see each other tomorrow.

I realize that a big part of me still wants to pursue, out of fear. Fear of getting kicked out, fear of my family being broken up, fear of never having a relationship with her again, fear of the unknown. Interestingly, her being my wife and that loss isn't hurting right now.

What she's done in lying, cheating, etc is making it tough to feel that way about her or want to trust her right now.

I'm missing my friend. I'm missing the connection we had and really I'm hurt that someone could love me and then what seems in a moments notice immediately not and disrespect and hurt me so fast and not care.