I know there are no guarantees but.....

[XFit14]

Cadet,

Sorry it was so long but the background needed to be put out there.
Most people that hear the story (minus the divorce part as that is new (FUN!!)) usually sit there with their mouths open in amazement that someone could do the things this guy has done to my wife and our family.

Yes I know these are my wife's parents and I carry a LARGE amount of guilt that she has NO relationship with them.(although I hear that now that I am gone that the parents have since reached out and are attempting to reconcile....apparently she is not all that eager... for now at least).
From conversations we had I know she grew up much the same as me.
Parents were strict but not tyrants.
Money was tight but not poverty level. Parents both worked. Discipline was done by dad when he got home...with a belt.
We both had decent childhoods.
In terms of dealing with her dad.....we know he felt guilty that he was gone a lot when she and her brother were growing up.
As such, we feel he is trying to be there more as a father to MY son since he wasn't much of one or around much when they were growing up.
We tried explaining that he already raised his family and this was my / our chance to raise ours....he didn't care and didn't back off.
It got worse.
She developed the attitude of letting it roll off her back...which I believe she wanted me to do. She knew she couldn't control him and if he was going to sue us he was going to sue us and nothing she said or did was going to change that.
I am a major type A personality and very protective of what (I feel) God gave me...my wife and son.
As far as I was concerned we were at war and he was attacking my family...repeatedly.
He kept at it and since I can't ..... you know physically retaliate due to laws and my current career it just built up and built up.....

It is of some comfort to know that there are successes and that you say this works.
Regardless of what aspect you are looking at it from....the part where I become better or the part where I become better AND get my wife back.
I know there is no magic button although I would push it like a million times if there was one.
I guess my big question and one I have seen asked a bunch of times is...if I make all these positive changes how is she ever going to know if we don't have contact??
What is going to prompt her to want to see what kind of person I might be if she is with someone else already??
I know I have more reading to do and techniques to learn.....don't get frustrated with me....im just hurting right now.
Im sorry