Lucy,

I admire how remarkably calm and centered you sound given what you are describing.

Protect yourself financially above all else. If your H will give you some funds while you get yourself your own life, it is wise to take him up on that.

These situations, IF they turn around, take a very long number of months, and it is a very small percentage that do. If you can let go of hope, and do the DR routine in the meantime, that is your best chance I believe.

There is reference here to the Stockdale paradox, about the optimists being the ones that don't survive. I found it helpful when I got here to research that.

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Here you'll find a lot of people who have the patience to hear out of all your worries and can help sort out the best actions for you to take when you are in doubt.

Mid 30's
Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH
D 9/15; NC forever on

You can't DR your way out of abuse.