LT/Mirage, that's exactly why I post such things. So that others can see it and not feel so alienated.
For me, that was the hardest part. The feeling alienated. I did it to myself in many ways. And so to I was able to fix that area of my life. That was in my control.
And yeah, it continues for eons it seems. From what I've experienced, the end of a normal relationship ends with goodbye. With somebody like this...well, not so much. I suspect it has to do with addiction (addicted to something, not necessarily pharma products) and replacing that addiction. It feels that way sometimes. I think it also has a lot to do with missing a large chunk of their life due to the episode. I know watching mine, she seemed to shatter. Literally I described it as if she broke her self into a thousand pieces and was putting the pieces back together, but they didn't seem to fit quite right. Wipe it out, try again. Rinse. Repeat. Enter the OP and things got complicated while she was reforming. I think that caused a loss of a lot of memories due to rewriting them. Nobody wants to be the villain in their own story, right?
As you pointed out, mirage - would you want it any other way? I wouldn't. I love my life.
Like you LT, I would have preferred less damage to the kids. But at the same time, I know it could have been worse and I know that life is messy - I've spent a great deal of time and energy helping the kids to deal with what they saw. I don't regret a moment of it.
Can't stop it. Nothing you say or do will change what they do. Can't control it or fix it. And that's part of the point I think
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
