Careless in our summer clothes Splashing around in the muck and the mire Careless in our summer clothes Splashing around in the muck and the mire
Fell asleep with stains Cake deep in the knees What a pain
Now hang me up to dry You wrung me out Too, too, too many times Now hang me up to dry I'm pearly like the white Wh-whites of your eyes
All mixed up in the wash Hot water bleeding our colors All mixed up in the wash Hot water bleeding our colors
Now hang me up to dry You wrung me out Too, too, too many times Now hang me up to dry I'm pearly like the white Wh-whites of your eyes
Previous threads that I'm too lazy to link to:
Separated, now what? WAH shut himself away for two weeks, acted like he wanted to work on our M after BD at counselor. Maybe.
Separation turning bad H went away, got colder and angrier with our limited contact. Friend of his contacted me, and asked me to fly up, and we started building a bridge home.
Turn around? H came home, initially all over the place and hostile. Puts ring on in a week, everything starts looking really great.
Navigating old ruts Hard DR work. I worked on my changes, H alternately seemed to try very hard and alternately started playing a lot of head games, eroding my sense of self. Worse than the year prior to BD.
I want it all, all right now. Feeling increasingly frustrated, I started this one - as with the last one - with the changes I needed to make it letting my H just do him. Well, one night I called him on his accountability for something he'd promised, and he became physically violent. No remorse. In fact, partied a bunch using my cc. Finally confronted, and he basically told me he didn't care anymore. A day after telling me how lucky he was to have me in his life.
Reflecting & Grieving Me questioning everything I thought I knew about him. Everyone's S here does some super crazy nasty stuff, but they're generally consistent about it. I am reeling.
Almost there - wanting it to be over, for him to initiate D papers. He did. I realized how sneaky hope was and despite everything I was coming to understand about our abusive cycle, I still wanted him to fulfill a fairy tale ending where he stepped up for once and I didn't go to him trying to mend our R.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
