Lost- I'm going to say something here that might not be at all what you want to hear....
YOU have to be the success story- no matter what happens w your R.
I know what brought you to this board. It is what brought most of us- a dire desire to save our R's. We all wanted tactics and methods to 'use' on our S.
I think what you might find is that some of the most 'successful' people on this board are the ones that make it about them and their life and happiness, and not about their wayward spouse.
