Raliced - The Magnificent Seventh

[Mozza]

Here comes Silent Bob — as in: I try to resolve everything with WW with as little communication as possible. How can we do it in this case?

Do not allow any changes to the schedule. D7 was given a choice because you allowed it, because your STBX assumed that you would allow it. I don't care if it was late, if you start introducing this kind of flexibility, the whole thing becomes a mess. With me, the home rules are as reliable as the laws of physics. They apply all the time, no negotiation, no doubt. This is how we end up planning around them. So your STBX could have prepared the car before the end of the game to leave earlier. He could consider adjusting the schedule so that these things would not happen. But he could not assume that things can be adjusted at the last minute.

By the way, it may sound harsh, but it's actually a much gentler approach in the long run because you avoid all these confrontations, the compromises that are frustrating or rejected.

More concretely, I would only tell STBX, in person: "I don't want these last minute changes to the schedule anymore. They're no good for her and me." Period. No more talking. No explaining why. Nothing about the crying, your plans, etc. I think the more you explain, the more you make it sound like criticism.

- Silent Bob

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EDIT: Was it to you, raliced, that I wrote a few months ago about the coat incident where your STBX was offended by a comment you made? Like all fathers, I'm also hypersensitive to criticism. At the grocery store last week, a grandma told me that the bag of D7 was too heavy for her. I looked at the woman in the eyes, clenched my teeth, took a deep breath, and gave her a sharp "Thank. You." It was the best I could muster, other than "Do you want to raise her?" Read around these boards: all fathers are sensitive about this criticism because people assume we're incompetent by default. So I would definitely not like to be told what Underdog is suggesting. This is laying it thick about how I'm hurting everyone's feelings. Don't make it a big deal, just enforce a boundary. Don't ask him to validate the hurt you and D7 are feeling. Don't overexplain. The schedule is the schedule.