Even before BD I had those feelings. W is seriously critical and turns out the more I learned about MLC, how and where is came from, I kept my ears open. MIL is seriously critical as well so its a learned trait in my W's case. I always felt like to earn love I had to do this, this and then this. After some time it really strips you of your self esteem, like you I started feeling the more I was away the better I felt, and was reluctant to go back to that old life. Then a lightbulb ... Boundary-setting... I think its one of the many important tools I have learned to have in my tool box, I am quick to stop W when she says something critical toward me or S, and now she is more receptive to it, even starting to catch herself before she completes the sentence. During this I realized I too was that way, in retaliation ... almost a passive aggressive style but it was there. Something I am working on myself
All this self work mirror stuff is tough .. makes one hungry .. for ...lets say ribs
