moving out..... deep breath

[juliegayle]

I am having a pity party for 1 kind of day and I don't like it and need to get myself out of it.

My car is due for inspection and registration renewal by end of month. The passenger side window is broken and taped on. thinking about it makes me mad at h. It happened once when he childishly blocked me out of driveway. I tried to pull in around him and hit the mailbox.

There are so many things I took on and learned to do after h "checked out." but cars were always his domain so I have been putting this off. As I was driving around today trying to get this done I was just mad. Mad at him for "breaking the deal" mad at myself as I found another area I had been too dependant on him for. Just mad in general at being alone and having to do everything in the few hours a week I have where I am not at work or with s. Just really missing having a partner.

So I go to the garage and he sends me to the junk yard and their computer is not working and I am just driving aimlessly trying to find somewhere else to go on my new side of town because I am avoiding my old mechanic because he was h friend (even though I know h is really not in touch with any old friends) and then I decide to try crazy glue and sit in car eating cupcakes and cheetos because I am a horrible emotional eater and what is another few ounces on top of what I already gained since BD..

I will fix mirror and get the other stuff done. I will get it done just as I have with every new thing that has come up. I think I just need to call it a day.