Hello all! I am not going to start with writing my whole story....yet. I have been reading the books (DB and DR). I started with DR and got halfway through and thought that perhaps DB would be better to start with but as I have gotten halfway through that book I still have not reached any parts yet to 'help' with my situation. I don't want to skip ahead because I understand the book(s) is/are a progression and the background is important...but I am so looking for some meat and potatoes that I can work with and on.
I have two concerns before I spend a good deal of time writing down my story.....1) Are there any CURRENT success stories (because I am majorly in need of hearing from someone that has been successful) and, knowing that there are no guarantees, does this really work???
I have read and read and read hundreds of pages of posts on here and I think Cadet and Sandi have amazing advice.....but does it work because I have been employing the techniques I have read in the threads here and I haven't been getting anywhere. My divorce was actually final......today and I am so in need of some help.
I have also searched and searched on here and don't seem to be able to find someone in a similar situation as mine.
So, before I type this whole thing down....is there someone that has a current success story that can bolster my spirits and give me SOME sort of renewed hope that this might actually work and somehow, someway, someday I can get my wife and son back??
Last edited by Cadet; 04/28/1503:45 PM. Reason: Carriage returns for readability
M 44 W 44 Married 2007 T-8 years M-7 years 1 stepson (now age 16) BD October 2014 I moved out Feb 2015 Divorce final ....(4-27-15)
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
I'm new to this too and after reading a lot of threads in the newcomers section I asked the same question. There is a section in the "unopen " section of the forum which has success stories.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Cadet, Rppfl and Roiste...thank you for responding back. I am in the process of writing down my story. I figured even if I didn't submit it, I might feel better to get it ...out. I will look at Mozza's thread and check on that unopen section. I need some....bolstering of faith.
M 44 W 44 Married 2007 T-8 years M-7 years 1 stepson (now age 16) BD October 2014 I moved out Feb 2015 Divorce final ....(4-27-15)
This is kind of premature since I have not posted my story yet for people to comment on. But, as I stated earlier, I have been reading the books (although I may have switched to the wrong book inadvertently DB from DR) and I have been reading tons of posts and threads and have implemented the techniques (going dark, detatching etc) My question, and like I said, it could be a bit premature, is how is my (now) ex-wife giving me the gift of time?
How is this a gift?
I have lost the person I have waited a long long LONG time to meet and marry. I screwed up (no infidelity and I will explain in my story post later today) and made some mistakes with how I handled some things and I basically drove her away (I think) but how is this a gift to me?
I know I can make it through this and I know I can be strong and confident and make myself happy and be happy and all that. I want that for sure. But, I also would really really like it to be with her.
We weren't perfect but we were good together. Im not being dilussional. I have had the dating life from hell my entire life and finally (FINALLY) thought I had found the woman I was going to stay married to all my life. How is time away from her a gift??
Last edited by Cadet; 04/28/1504:03 PM. Reason: Carriage returns for readability
M 44 W 44 Married 2007 T-8 years M-7 years 1 stepson (now age 16) BD October 2014 I moved out Feb 2015 Divorce final ....(4-27-15)
I am so sorry to hear about your D. I am working on DB'ing mine for 6 months...4 of them on this forum.
I think Mozza added an entire thread devoted to success stories.
Please don't give up hope -- you have come to the right place.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
