Well, I finally took a step in the right direction.
Last night, at around 11:30 PM, just as my W was getting out of the shower, she was met with her first rude awakening. I was waiting for her in our bedroom. I told her we have to talk. Then I told her that her ongoing A with OM is disrespectful to me and to our M and that it is confusing for me an the kids. Then I told her to move out of the marital BR. She was obviously taken aback. I was calm and cool and collected. I made eye contact the whole time and did not shake at all. She tried to engage me in further debate and almost reflexively tried to deny the A again. I did not bite. I just reiterated my stance. She asked why I should not leave the BR. I told her that I was faithful to that BR all along, thus I am not leaving the BR. She asked "why now?". I replied that there is never a perfect time, but I need this now. She asked "what will we tell the children?". I told her that that is for her to figure out. I am going to tell the children something that they already know: that we are not getting along. I have feared this all along, but I think I want the kids to see me standing up for myself and respecting myself more than I want to avoid awkwardness.
Eventually she agreed. She then asked if she could move out the following night - it was late and she did not want to change the sheets and make the bed in basement - How I wish I had thought of making the bed in advance!!! So I acquiesced, but asked her to give me her word that she would move out of the BR tomorrow night. I am sure she is going to talk to her cheerleaders and enablers and may resist tonight. But I will hold her to it.
This morning I feel like a man that she would be crazy to leave.
RAI
P.S. I want to thank everyone who posted to my thread encouraging me to take this step for myself.
