WAH with one foot out the door and one in.

[V2pt0]

Getting confused by H behavior that is all over the board. Went two weeks with him very disconnected. Coming home late, going out with colleagues, not engage in conversation, going to room and shut door. I have been GAL and detaching. I think H is taking notice. After I made it clear that I was moving on with some household things things without him - arranging for lawn care, asked if I should stop buying groceries for two because he is doing his own thing, he seemed to take a bit of a 180.

Has started to re-engage in conversation with me, we decided to go to family wedding together in June in NY (asked if he wanted me to go and his response was if you want to go then you should go. Did not really answer my question which was do you want me to go), asking me about my day, etc. At same time, he is still saying very negative things about marriage. Why waste more time together, you are just going to go back to old ways, why do you want to rebuild marriage, etc. Makes it sound like all my fault. He also says he cannot see being physical with me due to trauma from feeling rejected by no sex and what that did to him emotionally. Does not want any physical contact right now. Is actually repulsed by idea and not sure how he can go from that to feeling attraction again.

He then in next sentence says he is confused. Part of him thinks marriage is over, but then he has interaction with me that causes pause. I ask about specifics about what he sees in that moment and he cannot answer. He says he knows he can be hard to live with. Then mentions that he knows he is putting me through roller coaster and maybe better that he moves out temporarily. I say that is not what I want and will cause further disconnect. I later say that I and glad his is still in house and he says thank you. He has also been around the house more. Yesterday, I wrote apology letter for my part in marriage issues with encouragement from DB coach. Told him no expectation to respond. He brought it up first thing this morning and said, "You did not need to write that. I think that you think this is all your fault." I aid no, that I was just apologizing for what I did and felt I needed to say those things to you. 180 for me as one of my issues is not being open with feelings and thoughts. He said, that is ok, I don't want to fight about it. Was no where near fight! Also has mentioned doing things in future together.

I am wondering if these are signs he is moving towards reconciliation. Very confused by his behavior!