Onwards and upwards.

[Mozza]

Thanks for the update, Barry. I always look forward to them. As usual, you evolve fast. I was here 2-3 months before you and I don't have a single paperwork drafted! My D can't be pronounced before October anyway.

I made my peace with stbx after last week's fiasco. I didn't realise at the time, but I'd actually made her cry...that's why she hung up on me. I didn't say anything that wasn't true during that phone-call though and my tone was fair but very firm. What appears to be happening is that stbx was immensly strong at BD and I was the weak one. The tides are changing a little now..Barry is now stronger day by day and there are crack starting to show in stbx.

I've no judgement on this, but I urge you to remain very aware of your tendency to cover your actions with your words. Stuff like "I didn't say anything that wasn't true" is an interpretation of what you said. If we went through your statements one by one, would we agree with this? Same for your tone that is "fair but very firm" in your opinion. The risk is that you end up with an interpretation (it was all true! I was fair!) and she with the opposite (he lied to me! He was manipulative!), both of you absolutely convinced to be honest. But it starts with your shame of your actions ("well, maybe that sentence was manipulative after all") that you try to cover. It's ok to say "I went too far on this, I shouldn't have put it that way, etc." People will love you more for your vulnerability, bot less for your faults (which they know already). Otherwise, somewhere deep down you're not fooling yourself and you'll get angry at the world for your own lies. It's typical of Nice Guys to hide their flaws in shame.

You have a historical tendency of doing one thing and then claiming the opposite ("I'm not badmouthing WW, but I said..."). People notice these things and it probably affects the perception of you by others, how much trust they have in you, whether you can influence them, etc. It is hard sometimes to acknowledge our actions for what they are, especially when it's the opposite of what we believe we should do. But it's another way to bring peace in your life.

Anyway, you're dealing with very difficult stuff right now, way more than I do, and you seem to be doing it well. Keep DBing.