Ripken - LRT with Wayward Wife and Divorce Filing

[Ripken8]

Was not making sense to me so I had to read the chapter in the book. Essentially, the premise is that when a woman complains, normally it's not about literally what she's saying (content) but what that means or represents to her.

So when I said "just so you know I have plans wed night and won't be home after work. She never got a chance to even explore leaving herself or talk with me. Just was told this is the way it is and you can deal with it. That has been a complaint of hers in our relationship previously. That it was all about me and what I wanted and she felt guilted into staying with the kids and never doing anything. That has definitely not been the case over the last 6 months when she comes and goes as she'd like, but I'm assuming her reaction was a trigger to that.

So I went back just know and validated her. I said "looking back just now I didn't realize u were considering something we'd night too. I didn't ask or even give you a chance to tell me, I just sprung it I you and it was apparent that upset you. I can understand why you would have been angry about that. It wasn't my intent to just stick you with something and I could have done a better job in delivering that message. I could have told you I had plans and seen if that would be a problem. Going forward I will do that and it's my hope we can be respectful of each other and communicate that way so neither of us feels like we're just being told what is happening."

She said thank u and I said the same.

It felt good, but do u guys think that's a sign of weakness/loss of respect? Trying to balances all of these techniques and know what to use when is hard!