Control sited as to why an affair

[Georgia Bulldogs]

So can you enlighten me

Thanks

The owner of this website, Michelle Weiner-Davis wrote this on her blog:

Ten Things You Need To Know About Affairs

3. Most affairs end

It’s important to know that, while affairs can be incredibly sexy, compelling, addictive and renewing, most of them end. That’s because after the thrill wears off, most people recognize that everyone, even the affair partner is a package deal. This means that we all have good points and bad points. When two people are in the throes of infatuation, they are only focusing on what’s good. This is short-lived, generally speaking. That’s because reality sets in and infatuation fades. If the betrayed spouse doesn’t run to a divorce attorney prematurely, it’s entirely possible and even like that an affair will die a natural death.

What this means is that your affair, now turned marriage, has most likely come to it's predictable end.

If your first wife isn't remarried, I'd encourage you to spend the next couple days figuring out how best to apologize to her and own every single thing you did to her and your son from that relationship, pray for her forgiveness and then be the best father you can be to that son. Maybe she'll take you back. Probably not right away but in time and with consistent repentant behaviors she may consider it.

I know it probably sounds ridiculous but, IMO, it is the only true path back to happiness. I'm presuming you had no biblical right to divorce wife #1 in the first place so marrying anyone (your current wife or any third wife) wouldn't be a biblical union so either you remain unwed or go back to wife number one.

I'm sorry that I don't have more convenient advice and hope you are not upset by this. If you have a problem with this advice please take it up with God.

I have to wonder if you checked the history here to see if your 1st wife posted here 4 or 5 years ago trying to save your marriage to her back then while you were running off with this woman. Maybe now you have a lot more empathy for the pain you put her (and your child) through. Being cheated on [censored], doesn't it?


IN THE ALTERNATIVE, if you insist on trying to reconcile with this twice wayward wife you must realize that being wayward works for her. She left her first husband and got you....a supposed improvement with more money, so leaving you for another man makes complete sense. She's got her own money so she doesn't NEED you anymore and relationships are disposable to her. She has a very low commitment threshold and values only her selfish gratification and happiness above everything and everyone else. Perhaps the best way to get this kind of serial cheating person back is to give her more gratification and happiness than the other man she is currently with. You reported her first husband just sat there and let her walk out on him with his daughter without any fight so that plan is what she expects and counts on as she leaves you. She feels entitled to it and the fact you participated in it the first time makes it even harder for you to feign indignance (why is it wrong this time but not last time, just because it's happening to you???). So that leaves little room for any of the typical ideas to work but I'm not telling you you can't try. Call the divorce busting office and counsel with their coaches. However, it appears to me that if you sit back she just leaves you like the first husband and you are a hypocrite if you get angry at her cheating this time when it was OK when she cheated with you.....SOOOOO an alternative plan, maybe, if you can stomach it... you just keep feeding her ego, entitlement and selfishness and let her cake eat to her hearts content long enough and without any resistance or flack that eventually OM will get sick of the game, sick of competing for your wife's attention, sick of the drama and dump her and leave her to you.

I am sorry and sympathetic but you kind of signed up for this with full knowledge that this woman doesn't value the commitment of marriage. It appears to be who she is. The big question for you to figure out....is this who you are??? It's never too late to turn away from sin. Many people in your situation have gone back to wife #1 and remarried. It's not common but it happens.