Cali. Can you remember what it was that made your wife feel you were moving on? Oh, and I make a mean rack of ribs if you are ever in the garlic capital!
I would definitely sample ... ribs are like pizza ... always good
I do recall ... but I really think it was a combination of about 4 events packed into a 30day period. At that time OM and her were licking their chops at the D's being finalized and starting 2015 'together' .... funny as 2014 was the same.
#1-Thanksgivings I made a huge spread, just like I used to, did not care if I was going to toss out 1/2 of it later as S and I were going to have a feast, W asked about it and looked at me waitign for an invite, none was offered #2- Wife was sick in Dec, had a cold, she eats very clean so this is rare, she begged me to help her (Mr Fix-it) and go get her some meds, I told her I was fired from that position and she could call OM, I am sure he would be happy to be that person (Basically was a gut feel ... calling OM's bluff) #3- This one was not me, but I have no doubt added to the stress/confusion. OM planted a kiss on W infront of S, not sure what the look must have been from S but I know it hit her deep. #4- Christmas ... refusal to 'go in half' on gifts ... I bought S his own set of gifts, explained Santa knew the sitch and would hit both houses
Common theme of all these ^^^^ Family events, seemed my W had a fantasy she could have the A and still 'be a family' when I told her I would not be a part of that, and went one more as to make sure we were not even going to be friends (Explained I would never keep a friend who treated me and lied to me as she did) ... things seemed to start moving ... not all the sudden but seems that period of time got the ball rolling, Family is very important to her, holidays I always made a big deal about, 2013 I faked it...2014 I said F that and prepared myself for D and celebrated it all solo.
Originally Posted By: mleigh4
We are both great mindreaders, you have been accused of it many times If anyone was to ask me, what do I think is going through H's mind, I would say he sees me moving farther and farther away. To a point where I have almost started feeling.......cold to him. At pick up and drop off of S, I have kept things quick and short, no small talk for me! I just have not felt like sharing anything with him lately, I feel very distant from him. But I realized, maybe I am being a little too cold. So when I picked S on Friday, I made a point to chit chat a little. I pointed out his new work truck that he got a couple of weeks ago, he gave me a full tour. I touched his arm where he had some recent scars, he told me the whole story of what happened. I even put down some bricks to hold the base of his canopy because it was really windy. Lol, I am on a roll here with this home improvement stuff.
Anyway, I just get this feeling, mind reading, that he is really lonely right now. But I feel it is a part of the journey and that I need to stay out of the way. My H has always dealt with depression and I do believe he is working through it and feels it is better he do it away from us. I am not saying his intent is to do this for me or our family, I just think he is really lost right now, and that he has been fighting and trying to escape these feelings for a really long time.
My gut so far is not sensing OW, and for whatever reason I hope my gut is right. But I also know anything is possible, however I am done wasting my energy on that fear. I figure if it comes to be, I will deal with it then.
Thanks for your support. I am enjoying life and looking forward to our good weather.
Kidding me .. I am a Jedi I am awesomesauce at the mind reading tactics.
All I can tell you is trust your gut, I think that's what we all must do at times ... lets face it there seems to be no right/wrong in certain areas ... my gut told me there was a OM in Sept, did I trust it .. no, I asked and she lied, up to that point .. 24 years I had no worry of such a thing but all the sudden my gut said .. hmmm ... does not feel right, my gut was right. I think you are right to trust that, he may very well just wanted to shield himself knowing deep down certain things he did not want to put you through, things he knew he needed to get over. I get that whole part of distance, almost to the point of being cold, I have been there too ... in a way it was anger, for what she did and what she was doing, then it just changed gradually into a disinterest in her, she was living a life I did not want to be a part of ... her choice, and I was making my own choices in what and how I wanted to do things. You are rocking this ... I follow your sitch as it just seems so unique, and you continue to walk your walk with grace ... I might suggest just changing things up a bit and see if that sparks a move out of your H, I know it was easier to handle certain things in this like it was a science project.
If anyone was to ask me, what do I think is going through H's mind, I would say he sees me moving farther and farther away. To a point where I have almost started feeling.......cold to him. At pick up and drop off of S, I have kept things quick and short, no small talk for me! I just have not felt like sharing anything with him lately, I feel very distant from him. But I realized, maybe I am being a little too cold. So when I picked S on Friday, I made a point to chit chat a little. I pointed out his new work truck that he got a couple of weeks ago, he gave me a full tour. I touched his arm where he had some recent scars, he told me the whole story of what happened. I even put down some bricks to hold the base of his canopy because it was really windy. Lol, I am on a roll here with this home improvement stuff. 