Ok, M, I am going to keep it real because you deserve nothing less.

What I "hear" between the lines is that you are still blaming yourself. You are still wondering if you stopping contact influenced him to leave.

You are also thinking that his actions now may mean something.

I get it, M. I do. You are still hurt, still grieving. But I dont want to see you going round and round in your head with that kind of thinking.

Because the truth of it is, he is in crisis. That said, he still has to own his actions.

You could think all day about the coulda, shoulda, wouldas. But that just makes you crazy.

This is a process for you, M. You cant hurry it along. You can help it by stopping those thoughts because it doesnt serve you well.

You could have been perfect, it wouldnt have mattered. Thats because this is something that was destined to happen.

Please try to believe that there was nothing you could have done to stop this.

No amount of loving him could have stopped it.

He has to go through this. You have to let him.

Its ok to have empathy for him. Thats who you are.

What isnt good is for you to blame yourself. What isnt good is for you to read his actions as meaning anything.

He is messed up and confused.

Its ok for you to think about Mighty. Its ok for you to remember your marriage with love.

But you do need to try to let go of wondering the what ifs. That isnt good for you.

This is your life right now, M. Time to begin to live it. Leave him to his.