WAS need help!

[nick615]

So I have been reading the forums for the past 5 weeks.

I have read a lot and taken notes on everyone’s experiences. So here’s mine……On March 22, my W dropped the divorce bomb on me.
The week leading up to the day she called for a divorce, we were sleeping in other rooms and not talking very much because of how I reacted to her not helping me with S2 and our dog during our S2’s learning time with a teacher.
I didn’t talk to her for two days, which I shouldn’t have done, but I am working on how I respond to situations. She then spoke with her brother the following weekend, and on that following Monday after I had put S2 to bed, I came down and she was sobbing.
he sobbed as she said that she wanted a divorce from me. She said she has been unhappy and she was unhappy for the last 3 ½ years.
The first few years of our marriage, we went through a lot. My Mom had passed away due to cancer, and we ended up marrying a year later.
My Mom’s passing really took a toll on me and I went into a really bad depression.
I ended up taking some things out on her and she has always stated that I treated her really bad during that time.
Now she says that I am still the same person and that I don’t know how to handle my anger and I don’t know how to communicate with her.
I do have a hard time communicating and a lot of my issues have been connected back to my childhood when I was physically and emotionally abused by my father.
My wife knows a lot of this as I have been to therapy with her on several occasions for the past 3 years.
I stopped for a few months leading up to the divorce because I thought things were going good.
I should have kept going no matter how good things were going. She had stated that she doesn’t want to be unhappy and she believes she will be happier alone than with me. She doesn’t want to have to worry about me or what mood I am in or how I am going to react.
She said that there is nothing I can do and that she has been down this road before, but the only difference this time was that she is 100% for sure.
Since then, things have been okay. I immediately went out and bought DR and read the entire book in the first week. I have been on this site everyday for the last 5 weeks.

I have been journaling and taking notes.
I have been trying to GAL, but its hard because we both still live at home together.
I have also been trying to detach, but I have had some backslides. I was doing good until last week when W brought up selling the house and why she wanted to sell it asap. I want to stay because I don’t think I can afford to buy another place on my own and I want to keep some stability for our S2.
Its S2’s home too and I don’t want to get rid of it, but at the same time I might want to later just because of all the memories.
During this convo, I told her that she is ruining our lives and that this is her choice and that I will resent her. (I know I went completely against detachment, which I will try not to do again.)
We really don’t talk much and we try to be as cordial as possible.
I don’t write too well, so I hope I don’t confuse you or forget anyting