This is a situation still very early on it its development.
I am sure you have read Sandi's posts about WW and their thnking and actions. That's what you have on your hands.
You sound very passive in your posts - sorry to be blunt. My suggestion is to toughen up - A LOT.
Have you stated your boundry to your wife "I will not live in an open marriage"? Has she moved out? If not, she needs to ASAP. If she has not, I would set her stuff outside of the marital bedroom. I would not let her in and out to drop clothes off etc... Once she is out, she is OUT.
You have an attorney? Tell him/her to slow this down if you want to. They can easily delay while you get your emotions and a plan under control. Is your house actively listed on the market? If not, don't do it - let that one slide. You are rushing things on her time table.
#1. Stop all and any pursuit - no calls, no texts, no messages. #2. Make her leave - do you own or rent - whose name is on deed? #3. Schedule kids activities on spread sheet - don't talk to her about it, just follow the spread sheet. Only talk about emergencies about kids.
#4. Toughen up - make her respect you. Any engagement with her is distance, cordial but very very distant.
#5. Cut her off financially. Cut her off of the bank account and all credit cards. Cut off her cell phone. Who cares if she does't have a job, her problem not yours. She can open up her own accounts. She should pull up her big girl panties. If she doesn't have a job she can move in her parents or AP because she won't have money for an apartment? Again, not your problem.
You have time to turn this around. Toughen up!! make her respect you.
