Onwards and upwards.

[Barry]

Hi all,
Just a post to say that things are slightly more settled now (thank goodness!).

I had a meeting with the school last week and we went through a few ideas as to how best to help S13. The headmistress told me that he's mentioned our impending D a few times, saying that he's generally unhappy and angry about it. I'm sure that's the case. As bad as it sounds though, I've a feeling that he sometimes uses the "troubles at home" trump card to make the school more lenient towards his behaviour. I told the school that I am on 100% on board in trying to help S13, but that I also need to show that I'm fighting his corner on the occasions that it requires it.

The D paperwork is going through, but I'm still waiting to get a timescale as to when I'll be in the position to give stbx her money. I'm still aiming for around 6 weeks from now.

I made my peace with stbx after last week's fiasco. I didn't realise at the time, but I'd actually made her cry...that's why she hung up on me. I didn't say anything that wasn't true during that phone-call though and my tone was fair but very firm. What appears to be happening is that stbx was immensly strong at BD and I was the weak one. The tides are changing a little now..Barry is now stronger day by day and there are crack starting to show in stbx.

As we were texting about S13 last week, out of the blue she said that she was sorry she'd hurt me so much but that she couldn't feel what wasn't there any more.

I responded the following day saying that I knew that and that I was sorry too. Sorry that this has happened regardless of the how's and why's, and that I'm sorry I can't tell her that I forgive her. Maybe one day I'll be able to, but I can't right now. I appreciated her apology, it doesn't heal the wounds though.

I do feel so much better, but I don't fully trust it. I've been here (or close to it) a few times although I do feel MUCH stronger now. I've made friends with a really great bunch of people and I've never had so much fun. I rarely think of stbx now and when I do, it doesn't upset me. Maybe the rollercoaster is just leveling out, I don't know.

Take care all.

Barry