This is right but I don't see the benefit in seeing them as 'enemies' or make them feel bad.
It helps to try to think of them -- in their current state -- as an enemy of your marriage.
Someone who, in their current condition, doesn't have your marriage's (or even family's) best interests at heart. And then act toward them accordingly.
Think of a neighbor with whom you're friendly, but they're currently working for a company who's trying to destroy your family. How would you treat them?
There are ways to be friend-LY, without acting like her BFF or gay boyfriend. That's what you want to shoot for.
