So, if we're going to be in the same house together, how I can get through this as she continues to decide to continue the affair? I know there's nothing more I can say or do to change this, so how can I work on me?
You only can control YOU. You've already said your no OM boundary and communicated to her that you don't want a D, but won't stand in her way. It's time to STFU about that boundary and not wanting a D forever. She's heard you.
Going forward it is all about actions. How you can work on yourself is doing some introspection and think about some of the legitimate issues that W complained about you. The do 180s that are FOR YOU because, after all, you'll live with those changes for the rest of your life regardless if W comes back or not.
If you had a temper, then work on it and becoming more calmer. You get the picture...
Originally Posted By: Rip
Also, yes, any more suggestions or feedback on the communication would help. Not trying to be her friend, but also not an enemy. How to have that balance is escaping me.
Respectful and cordial communications are the way to go. Don't be a dick if W offers you something like dinner. Simply say, "thanks" and eat. Just be sure that you and W don't do family activities like going out to the movies, zoo, etc.
For now, go dark. Communicate only on the logistics related to the children. Stay in your own MBR...make sure W is sleeping else where.
Never, NEVER talk about or bring up OM. Look past him.
Use your ears more than your mouth when interacting with W.
