Woke up this morning feeling awful. Talked to my H again last night for a couple of hours. He made some valid points about issues he felt that I did not deal with. I validated the hell out of everything he said. I listened, I agreed (even if I really didn't). I did not bring up any of my issues with him, because then he will just get defensive and back away again. This morning I woke up a bit angry. He is telling me all the things I did so wrong and how he couldn't live with that anymore. He doesn't like how I parent. Mind you he has no children of his own. I know I am overly protective and over indulgent with my adult children. I want to help them as much as I can. I get that they take advantage of that, but as he puts it giving them "tough love" and pretty much kicking them out. I do not know if I can do that. I have to figure out how to launch them to independence.
My animals. My H is frustrated with the multitude. I have 5 cats, a dog and my H's 2 Guinea Pigs. I'm pretty sure I will be adopting out the Guineas in the next little while. The cats....only one is truly mine. She has been with me for 11 years, as well as my doggie who is 10. The others I would like to split up between my children.
Ok so now what. I still have no guarantees that he will be there for me. He is starting his life in a new city, without me in the plans.
Another thing that burns my ass is that just days after we split up his best friends and his wife( a devout Christian) were drawing up plans for him as to how he could move his business to their city. Not once did they suggest to him to try to work things out with his wife. If we were to get back together, that is something I have to deal wih.
Sigh! He will be here in 2 hours to help me get my new bike to a shop to get certified. I don't know how to react. I think R talks will not be good today. Do I act indifferent? Do we kiss? Do I tell him I love him?
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
