Ripken - LRT with Wayward Wife and Divorce Filing

[pilot]

Ripken,

I just read up on your situation. It was just over a year ago I discovered my W was having an A. Prior to that, I got the "im not happy speech" about 7-8 months earlier. After finding out about the A, it got awful in our house. She was as bad of a WW as any on this site as far as being disrespectful, not caring about my feelings or being hurtful...you know the story. A couple of months later, she filed for D, and we separated to different towns. It was then I found out about DB and this forum. 2 extremely painful months later and with lots of support from this forum, I worked on what I could on myself, did my 180s, worked on GAL, and utilized the LRT. Guess what? We started having the occasional date nights. She became more openly affectionate and caring towards me. She still wanted a D she said, but she would never serve me the D she filed. Those date nights were short lived during that summer. By late fall I was done. I dropped the rope, and I felt good about it. I was at peace with my decision. In December I filed D in our new state, and I immediately had her served. And guess what? She became even nicer. Our interactions are friendly and all smiles. She is the one dragging her feet on the D I initiated. She was supposed to turn in discovery answers in January. Well, here we are almost May and she still has not.

I am telling you this because I was once right where you are now. I could not see any light at the end of the tunnel. I could not imagine my W and I even being friendly to each other. She constantly initiates texting, spends more time with the camera pointed on herself than the kids when I skype with them. Does this mean her A ended? Who knows. Does this mean she wants to R? Couldnt tell ya. Does it mean she is having second thoughts? Anyones guess. Worrying about what your W or my W is thinking is a waste of time. What all of this means is that I am comfortable in my life where it is. I am detached enough from her where her actions, good or bad, have no impact on my daily life, or my plans for the future.

You will get there too. It just takes time. You will hear it over and over on this forum. I heard it, and it meant nothing to me back then because I was worried about what I could do that very day to make things better. The only thing that will, is time. Maybe not for your M, but it will for you, if you spend it working on becoming the best you possible.

Best of luck to you.