Ripken - LRT with Wayward Wife and Divorce Filing

[Bob723]

Let me ask you something. Considering the woman she has become, are you sure this is what you want for the rest of your life?

Hi Rip,

Sandi has offered some great advice (as always!) and I can relate to your struggles. Sandi asked an intersting question at the end of her last post.

Many people, in my life, and a few on this forum, have asked me the same thing about my WW. Although there is no OM involved, she has become very deceitful. She opened a bank acct last May in the state where she lives now with her mom/stepdad. I found out about it in August because my WW sent a text meant for her Mom to me! When I confronted her about it (calmly) she said it was an account for "funny money" for her and one of her sisters. I didn't believe her and asked if things were okay between us, suggested counseling, etc. She said everything was "fine." The kicker--she tried to hide the acct from her own lawyer and the court. I still had the text and sent a screen shot to my lawyer. Eventually, she said it was opened in Sept--not true, obviously. Eventually, the truth came out. She's lucky--she could've been held in contempt of court.

Why am I going on and on here about my sitch? We all have to think about how things will be different IF you are to reconcile. I know my WW felt isolated because she has MS and I would not buy another car after she totaled hers in July 2013. I was so worried about her safety, I got over-prtective. Since I've gone to therapy, my therapist has gotten me to see it from her side about feeling isolated. But my therapist also says my WW has many attributes that are not helpful in a marriage and feels she is a taker and I am a giver and a "good guy." Then why am I in this mess?

I am not giving up on my W or our M yet. I still feel my WW has a warm heart and got very depressed over being stuck in the house a lot. So, I'm doing my best to keep with the DB principles.

Do your best to take things slowly.

Take care, Rip!

Bob