Put one foot in front of the other

[Elly4]

Zephyr and Cherry, I’m sorry I haven't responded sooner, but I was away on vacation with my son. I have to say that both of your posts made me cry (in a good way). I have been feeling so down recently and confused and you both had points that reminded me why I'm DBing.

Zephyr, you are right, I am choosing to fight for my marriage. I was down at my brother’s house this past week and he mentioned if I had gotten a lawyer yet and my response was that I wanted to save my marriage. He was happy to hear that. Although he suggested I talk to one if my H starts talking about how to split up stuff. My brother is an accountant and worries about money stuff.

I have been using this time to work on myself and my IC has even stated that she has seen me getting stronger every week. But I have been doubting whether just focusing on myself would save my marriage. As Michelle says, there is no guarantee but at least I’ll know I can take care of myself and my little S. Knowing if he’s cheating on me doesn’t really change anything in the long run and all I can do is to continue to be the lighthouse for him.

Cherry, somewhere or another, after 23 years of marriage we lost the fun and spontaneity that comes with young love. I also know we moved in with him at 19 and myself at 21 so it’s natural that he might need to find himself which I understand. Just don’t throw the baby out with the water if you know what I mean. It was interesting while away at my brother’s house. My H texted me 6 – 10 times a day asking how we were and were we having fun and so on. I kept my responses short but friendly and didn’t automatically respond every time. Since I came home he’s been talking a lot to me, but I’m sure tomorrow he’ll retreat again. At least I am prepared.
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Thank you, Zephyr and Cherry for your faith in me and your prayers! They are very much appreciated.