gan 6 - return to human be-ing

[Sotto]

I think this is a difficult one, and I'm in a similar position to Gan, with a largely NC sitch. In fact, I haven't seen my H since August and the last time we spoke by phone was Feb. In our sitch there has been an OP involved, so I went pretty dark.

I think the NC does help with detachment, and I feel my life is pretty peaceful now. Is it a good idea to 'pursue' friendship in hope of re-attracting your H? And being a bit flirty in the process? IDK.

For me, given the OP (and I don't know present status of that) I would feel pretty vulnerable. Gan, I imagine you may feel similar, not knowing if there may be an OP somewhere on the scene. Plus, didn't your H also say he didn't want to meet up or chat more often - even though he wanted to be 'friends'?

I agree that with childless sitches like ours, it is harder to 'remind' your S of how great you are, and of changes you may have made. But I'm not sure if 'friends in hope of some thing else' is the way to go. Particularly at this point in the sitch, where we are still somewhat raw, but definitely moving forward.

Just ramblings really. I would love the chance to show H 'gorgeous Toots' but don't know that I would want to put myself 'out there' pursuit-wise, to do it. self-protection versus trying to re-attract I guess....