TB: No more Mr. Nice guy. I found that control was all about anxiety. It put me on a path of recovery including some incredible insights into my past. You have to start the chain of questions that leads to more questions until you finally get to the root (s) of the control. Your chain may be different, but one sample could be as follows.
Critical and judgmental causing lack of respect  Control tendencies  Anxiety is the root of control, why so anxious?  Anxious because I don’t want to be abandoned, protect myself.  Why don’t I want to be abandoned  Because I can’t get my needs fulfilled  Why can’t I myself fulfill my needs? 
You have to work hard to a point where you let go of that and you become elated because it’s now a new start for you. 2. TB: See above.
TB: So, you’re life is not complete without a man? You can’t live without one. You are incomplete right? Is that it? Really? Take this time, get on a path. Discover who you are and what wounds in your life need to be addressed.
3.
TB: My version of happiness is not yours. Let me put it another way, the things that make you happy you are now questioning? Time for that hard look in the mirror. Get help. No one can self reflect without outside help. You can’t do it all in your head, which many men try to do and it’s a mistake
4..
TB: I could tell you that this traumatic experience in your life is questioning everything you know about yourself. All I can tell you is that you need to expose what deep hurts are in your life. If you ultimately have abandonment issues, taking empathy courses will not fill that hole. Get to the root! It’s going to be hard because your defensive mechanisms have hidden them deep and thrown up false walls.
5. TB: It’s not about your H anymore Zelda. It’s about you. Think about this, it will be an investment in yourself and will reap benefits for the rest of your life.
