I have not yet been able to find a job, but I am still working on it.
What happened is that I finally had nothing left to lose. She has given herself over 100%, emotionally and physically, to OM. And once she had, suddenly (and for the first time in MONTHS) she started responding positively to me again. At the bank she was all friendly and flirty; the day after the camping trip she started sending me affectionate little texts. I responded to none of this, refraining particularly from snarling "Where the hell was this attitude when we actually needed it?"
When she eventually asked me why I wasn't talking to her, I first said that I would explain in person. She said no, that would be too stressful for her, text only. So I wrote to her to remind her that adultery is as traumatic as domestic abuse, and that just talking with her was traumatic because it reminded me of where she was when she replied (in OM's apt and in his bed). Therefore, for as long as she is connected to him, it is unhealthy for me to be connected to her. Furthermore, I was no longer her friend, because "friends don't traumatize friends."
She got some of her stuff today. She wouldn't (or couldn't) look me in the eye.
