You whole situation socks right now. But you are doing the right thing for yourself and for your child.
In my situation I filed for D because I did not want to be on my H mercy to deposit money or let us stay in a house. My financial situation right now is not very good and I need his income for us to keep the life the kids and I have.
I filed for security. I got professional advice, then I researched a few attorneys to hire one that made more sense to me.
My H can no longer hurt us financially. He has OW and I was not sure how far it could go. At first my H tried to blame me for what was happening to him. I left him alone since the beginning, I never put myself in his way and then finally he stopped.
I always said to him that if this is what he wants then I would not stay in his way. I never asked him for any favor, I handle the kids as much as I need and don't ask for his opinion in anything.
Soon, he will need to pay for not being there. Yes, he is not a present father, then he will need to pay with money for his absence. I am pressing him hard with the law in my side. I really do not care about his needs right now.
I agree with Cadet about his anger being projected into you. It's like when a teenager explode in big rage against their parents. Love & Logic! Your aggression will always be first at the ones you love and are close to you.
Your H is dealing with a turmoil of emotions right now. He probably does not know what he wants, what he is doing or what is happening to him. Like Cadet said, he is in Denial and he will not see things clear until he gets back to being normal again.
It takes time, take patience. You are doing the right thing even tough it is very hard. The pain is strong and feels like the poison will kill you at any given day, but day to day you will find strength to get one more day done.
Your H probably hates seeing you happy. Things were not good for him in your M, he got involved with someone else and God knows what else. My H is using drugs for example. Now he is the bottom of the well and he does not know how to get out. He will need to work hard on himself, he will need to face his failures and his mistakes and then he will be able to look at the M situation and make a conscious decision.
Live your life the best way you can now. Slowly you will detach and things will be a little better. Give yourself time too, you are hurt and need time to clean all what is hurting you. Give love to your child, they are just victims of these whole mess.
Talk to us, we are here to help each other. One day you need help and the other one you will give help.
