Have you read those threads that were recommended?
It's fine to stop the direct deposits into her account. She has her own job now, so why should you continue to fill it? There is nothing to discuss with her.
She is wayward, and she is going to accuse you of trying to control her. Using the "control" acusation and guilting the LBH is straight out of the WW's handbook.
The point is not to do it as a way to control her, neither to punish her. You have decided you will not financially help support her A........and you need not have a discussion with her beforehand. There will probably be other decisions you will need to make that does not require her permission. If she has a fit, let her blow.......while you walk away. In other words, if she says you are controlling, don't stick around trying to convince her otherwise.
I suggest you waste no time in securing your financial accounts, b/c she will drain them. (Especially since you've made this bold step.) Take you name off her CC's, and anything else to protect yourself.
It is important that a man shows no fear of his WW. She must see him standing tall and firm. It is his inner strength (which includes being decisive, standing up to her, refusing to be a doormat, etc.) that women respect.
What 180's are you doing now? Do you have any plan of action in mind? Sometimes a newcomer will run it by the board first, until they get better grounded in DBing.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
