So you're on the right track with your behavior. Now keep going. How do you feel when you're not doing something to keep busy? What's your default state? Why?

Zues,

What is a default state?

Currently, when I am not keeping busy, of course I think about my sitch. My W, and my family.
Before the crisis I would feel lonely, bored, sometimes empty when I was not real busy. So I filled it with porn, pursuit of women.

SITCH Years of infidelity by me/H, working on perm change, DEC 2014
ILYBNILWY JAN 2105
OM JAN 2015
W says I plan to move out and file for D April 1, 2015
Dbing April 2015
H-39, W-37, M 18yrs, S-9