Ripken - LRT with Wayward Wife and Divorce Filing

[Joe46]

Sorry for what you are dealing with Rip. Everyone deals with it different. It was a little easier for me because W did not and still doesn't do as much with the kids. In the beginning, she did act like we were competing. When I stated my boundaries or if we had an argument, she would do alot more with them as if she was using them to hurt me. It is probably just as uncomfortable for her, but she will react with anger. I am not saying how I started out dealing with it is the correct way, but I avoided W as much as possible for awhile. But I also took the kids to do things and spent alot of time with them. W would go to bed after we ate dinner, so the kids and I would hang out together. We went outside and played basketball. I set up a mini golf in the basement. I found whatever little things I could do to be with them. I started working hard on myself. I was polite to W but also did not spend as much time in the same room as her. But I also kept busy so it did not look like I was all bummed out. I faked being happy at first. Than I started to find out that I actually was happy after awhile. Not happy about my situation, but happy with MYSELF and happy knowing I will be okay no matter what happens.

When you get the chance to go do things for yourself, just go do them. Even if you are by your self. I went to town one day and did a little shopping, ate at one of my favorite restaurants just to get out. I did not do it to get a rise out of W, but she did not care for it. But she does not control me. Grab your kids and go do something with them for the day. Just you and them. You have to get creative with things to keep busy. And don't let W know that the things she is doing is upsetting you. Leave the room for awhile if you have to. The more you keep doing these things, the stronger YOU will become. And it will be easier to detach from the situation. Once you start taking yourself out of the situation, the harder it will be for your W to keep focusing on her resentments towards you.