May your

[Ggrass]

Now I wrote a book update and I'm hot and cold on dating.

But here's a thought kids,

Never date some one who cannot look after you better than you can do for your self.

In other words don't stoop down, be it in money terms or personal growth terms.

Another thing that's been cured was my meno! H stated your crazee because you have meno, your not the same woman.

Now hormones have returned, the anger had gone the motivation is returning with the sex drive. Hot flushes sort of gone. Night sweats, Some of the taste issues to, some of tiredness. interstate bestie said meno symptoms can also be stress.

Oh and news on s17, his wonderful welfare life is not going to pan out the way he wanted it to, he's not said anything but he been selling fire wood for $. He borrowed money and paid it back, I nearly died. I bought him a couple of jumpers today, as it's turned freezing. We spent some time about half an hour today and it was good.

He is maturing, mmmm not sure but he does look taller. I think he's coming round a tad too. Proud mummy moment.

[Vanilla]

Meno?

Eat your greens..........


And I don't mean grass!!!!

S17, Gg that boundary that you did is working. I am so chuffed!

V

[edz]

Hiya Gg

catching up after a busy 3 days. Your year in review sounds very positive and I'm so happy you're feeling in control of a life that's going in such a good direction, remember you did all that because you're fab

The rest will come you won't give it any choice in the matter

Keep on keeping on

(((((Gg)))))

Edz

[Ggrass]

Now it looks like I'm paying some of the expenses for wood carting.

Rolls eyes, s17 now needs my saw my fuel and my oil. Mates haven't held up their end. they have also played silly Buggars in the wet, which is not on.

[edz]

Hi GG

No you're right its not on. I've been on the, erm, smelly end of that kind of stick with other things from time to time. Make sure you're not getting taken for a ride. Its sometimes a fine line between being helpful, considerate and a fine friend and being a doormat - I speak as a fine piece of former axeminster

[Ggrass]

Yeah, I suspect my pile is getting smaller faster than I'm using it.

Then I'm just no convinced about my saw. Trouble is I'm getting the idea that if my saw isn't donated to the cause I get nothing. Which will be annoying.

I do however have acess to one parent, who might be able to exert some leverage on one of the the kids.

[Vanilla]

I would hide the saw, wood etc.

Looks like some very sticky fingers at play.

I bought some new tops from eBay Gg, both came with labels. one is a very pretty JoeBown top with frills and flouncy stuff. The other is a colourful Vanilla yellow based Save the Queen. Pretty bargains. I need a new pair of dancing shoes, mine are worn out.

V

[mustardseed]

Right od has inspired an update, but a different kind.

Today is almost a year of nc to very lc.

A year ago today I was throwing up crying most days and today was a really bad day for that. I was blaming me 100% for everything that exploded the m.

I was taking ads. If I missed one I was an emotional mess unable to function. I got mad when h ignored my text in an emgerency sitch. I ended the night bogged in a ditch pouring rain and unable to go home while s16 was home alone in a flood.

It was the mad angry moment where I got up literally from the mental ditch as well as getting out of the physical ditch. That single event, showed me even neighbours treated me with more repect and human dignity than my h. They didn't heap abuse on me for getting stuck, for an event of nature and of being unable to solve my issue without help.

It's the point at which we, s16 and me started doing those deal breaker things that h wouldnt allow. We started living and doing what we wanted another dog, why hell yes.

We got 2. Want to save the poor lambie and feed him with a bottle why not. Want to go out with mates, sure that's ok. Want purple hair why not? Want short hair, then ok.
Wear make up hell yeah!

Now tonight I went out and payed for dinner for those who have done small favours for me for things I just don't have the skills to do. These folks give without the expectation of being returned money or some other expectation. most have helped me in some big way to me but a small way to them.

This year life is happier s17 isn't living here, but he is old enough to to be out (with his welfare dad) living his choices.

Recently my Disires have come back. I was very much into the ml side of all r. The fact as nilla said the worse the abuse got the lower my disire got. To the point it has been gone for a year. I have been trying to get back Into the dating scene with little success.

Things are looking up, tho one of my mates handed me a number of a bloke to meet.
Althought he doesn't tick the have a life and job box.
Haven't met him yet, so am hesitating. So dating is time, to meet the right person.

The separation + I have more $, less stress, less pressure to do "duty" type obligations.
I have lost weight. I have a better outlook due to less pressure. Often I'm told I'm too up too happy. I truely feel light. I had a wart for 4 years and it healed when I made the decisions to real start to do what needs to be done to end the r legally. Well settlement.
My strange liver pains have gone as well. My sleep is still a bit all over at times, but that's often down to me being s night owl. I do sleep better than with h, he often seemed to be disturbed and it rubbed off on me.

I hope this give those of you at the start hope, of where you can be in a year from now.
Keep looking forward, get mad get angry but use it to propel you forward not for revenge.
It's to let you know where you need to do work and where change needs to occur.

So happy year 2 in gg world.

This is inspiring and good to hear. I'm ready to get to the other side of this mess.

[Ggrass]

Well seems gg is paying forwards......

Got intro to a supposed date, my gosh. Poor dude has some work to do, owns ll hasn't read it. Has been linked stuff hasn't time to watch it!

Talks of love and being in love, that happy co dependant sort!

Beating my head on the table, told my sorry tale and yes simliaries.

Except his wife didn't leave, she passed.
He's finding it hard and rightly so, but it's only been a short time. (By my definition less than a year short time) it's raw, poor dude. He's going to join us on our Sunday dinner out.

The wood issue resolved with s17 doing it or them helping but no acess to mums chain saw. They did however be kids, and do some stunts in the paddock, paddock car is bent and deep tyre marks every where.

I am giving them the benefit of the doubt on the wood pile.

[Ggrass]

So can we do links for tops?

I want new winter shoes slip on heels with socks would ideal.
Gal long week at work, but going out Friday's for raffles. Then morning tea tomorrow, then dinner tomorrow night as per normal.

My Sunday I intend to sleep in and spend time with the puppies. Perhaps I might do some rocks to fix the driveway.

Next weekend I have time off days of it..... Whoop whoop.