It took me a looooong time to get to angry. I had to truly believe STBX was doing what I saw him doing before I could get there. And even then I had to lose hope and faith that his choices were HIS and not the result of outside influences. (And I knew for a long time that he'd been cheating and even told ow he loved her). If you still want your H after all this then maybe you're just not there yet?
I've never been really clear on why he says he left. You seem like a delight.
I don't think you're a narcissist. Narcissists don't want to be connected by others; they want to be adored by them.
Welcome back, gan!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15