I just read your thread. I am sorry you are here. But you are in the right place. There are a lot of people here who can help and for me, just reading threads sometimes and seeing that I'm not alone made a huge difference.
You said your H moved in with his parents? Mine is living with his mom and he said the same thing when my daughter was asking for him--call his cell don't call his mom's--and I felt the same way--wha? That doesn't sound like my H! But I've FINALLY figured out the man I knew is gone, maybe temporarily, maybe forever, maybe there was some mean personality hiding deep inside him that's now coming out... I don't know. There are days when I spend time speculating about this and then other days--especially lately when I am busy enough that I don't even have time to think about him and what he's doing.
But I get what you mean about the alien abduction. Tonight I had an overwhelming feeling of grief as I was putting my kids to bed--I realized this is because it is like someone has died--my old H, who would always take a call from me and always be happy to see me--who pursued me so hard when he wanted to date me. Now it's like I'm a nobody to him... and we have two small children together...
I too have experienced my daughter asking for her dad. She says all the time that she wants him to come home and not live at Grandma's. I've pretty much quit telling my H about these conversations because it always ends with him being mean to me--again not his personality when we got married.
Just keep busy, don't worry about him (easier said than done) do things you've always wanted to do, focus on the kids and enjoy your life, not for him but for you. One benefit of this situation I've found is it strips you naked of any fear you might have in other situations--like going after the job you've always wanted, pursuing a dream, even talking to people with more confidence. You're right when you say this is one of the hardest things you've had to go through--it is and eventually you will realize nothing else can hurt you like this, so why not go for what you've always wanted out of life?
Me: 38 H: 43 Kids: 2,4 T10 M6 BD: 1/14 11/14: H moves out
