Tonight I had drinks with my coworker and a woman in her 80s. They assured me that I'm doing the best I can and my kids are going to turn out fine. it was a very fun afternoon.
D12 is doing a little better. My boys are clingy. The job is worrying me some but I shall endure.
This week marks the one-year anniversary of STBX moving out. He's supposed to have the kids tonight but because of a "work dinner" out of town I have them. I have refrained from checking the credit card statement to see if he bought an extra ticket for his "work dinner." I hope he's happy. I wouldn't be.
I have now lived in this house almost as long without him as with him. That realization startled me a bit. I also realize with profound gratitude how different I am from a year ago. He no longer knows who I am, though he may think he does. I am remade.
The awesome old lady I had drinks with today was an outstanding wingman at the nice restaurant we were at. She scoped out the cute bartender and even asked his age. He's a bit younger than me but within range, which got me thinking about what I want from a future relationship.
I have no idea!!!
I want someone tall. Who will sit on a porch with me and talk into the night. For the long-term, I want someone who would be a nurturing stepdad to my kids -- a lot of my friends describe their stepdads as the guys who taught them to drive or play ball and that's what I'd like for my kids, because I'm fairly sure STBX won't. I expect him to move out of town before D12 is 16.
But what do I want for myself? I don't know. I expect to figure out some day in the future.
My dear friend saw STBX on the street and greeted him in a friendly way. She's that kind of person. He grunted at her and her husband and crossed the street.
He has turned himself into someone who can't hold his head high in his own town. Which is why I'm sure he'll leave.
I have a quiet weekend on tap. I intend to sleep a lot, exercise a bit, and get a lot of housework done. I need some down time.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
it was a very fun afternoon. 
He's a bit younger than me but within range, which got me thinking about what I want from a future relationship. 