This will hopefully help you get yourself together. It is so tough with young children though - I'm sure.
Those things: house, friends; they will be a savior for you - I have let some things go in the house partially because of the unsure path of my situation - knowing that you will be staying gives you a great opportunity to make it yours. Repairing and improving is a great boost for yourself too.
I have read through your story and I really feel for you. I understand the conflicting feelings that you have with looking forward to separating, but still thinking of the forever you were planning - I get it.
Good luck!
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015