My First Break, Light Shines Yonder

[Pyrite]

I am surprised I got away with my earlier post about my day at mediation without further criticism. Especially by Mr Bond. While I was writing I was anticipating the response "No, what you enjoyed was being in control". And there is truth to that. But there are several things.

Firstly I dont think it is necessarily unhealthy to want to be in control of a situation. Who wants to be controlled? It is unhealthy when it gets to the extreme of destroying a M.

Secondly, in this case I was actually not in control at all. I haven't been in control of any situation with my W since BD. In fact she makes a point of stripping me of control at every opportunity. I dont resent this anymore. I expect it even.

Lastly, the situation turned out well for me because I was in control of ME. Barring two comments that were questionably motivated and i regretted, I actually managed to listen to what she was saying and validate accordingly. What she actually said for the most part I've heard before. But the direction changed dramatically, because I reacted differently. This happened dozens of times in the 2 hour negotiation and she was clearly put off balance. There were occasions where she started to re-respond angrily, and then realised that I hadn't denied it, or agreed to co-operate, or whatever.