There's a lot of resentment built up. Not for any one thing I ever did or didn't do. I would say rather for unmet expectations. This resentment led to lack of (and/or unfulfilling) physical and emotional intimacy. Then, we drifted apart emotionally, etc. So, she's debating whether it's possible to repair things or if she should just start over.
We actually separated once before (5 1/2) years ago and reconciled 2 months after we had physically separated. At that time, I didn't know 180 and basically pushed her out of the house. But, clearly, despite having gone to counseling when we reconciled last time and improving communication, there were unresolved issues that remain.
From 5 love languages, her primary love types are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I would say that I lost site of these and instead of her reminding or asking me about it, she just let resentment build up. Now, for my 180 I've been trying to keep these more of a primary focus, but it does seem at times to be at odds with detaching myself.
Hello Badger, as Cadet mentioned, sorry you have to be here but you came to the right place!
Your situation sounds similar to mine. We were separated in 2009 for about 1 month. but W did not file for D and we reconciled. My W let a lot of resentment build up inside of her without letting me know, or maybe I wasn't listening closely enough. Her main issue - I became "smothering." She has MS, was in a terrible car wreck in July 2013, and I got over-protective of her. That's a very quick update on my sitch. I've been posting since Christmas.
My advice is not profound. What I do suggest is taking very seriously any advice you get on this forum. There are so many wonderful, caring people. Also, try to keep a stiff upper lip and live one day at a time because that's all any of us gets.
Between therapy, folks on this forum and truly taking things one day at a time and focusing on making myself a "Better Bob" I have made it thru 6 months of separation and D proceedings. Am I perfectly happpy? No way...but I feel better about myself and also feel stronger than I have in a l-o-n-g time.
I wish you well.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
